Mourning the Living Who are No Longer

I miss my brother, the one that had great fun trying out new fanciful mustaches with mustache wax, the one who told me that he would always fight the system with me. The one who would have long conversations with me about a wide variety of things from Hermes Trismagistus to lucid dreaming. Then he had a nervous breakdown (all signs point to that he was drugged by his 'friends' that were into witchcraft and playing D+D) after he was doped up on antipsychotics and the kitchen sink, for a while he still shone through picking up a variety of musical instruments. Then he started being an extremist liberal and ignoring logic on the simplest things. Now he's a woman that I don't recognize, who says that I am crazy and need to be drugged up, and he needs to become a woman. I mourne for the boy and man I knew. I miss my sister that would send me makeup and talk on the phone about a vast variety of things and raising children. Now she's an extreme liberal who doesn't want me around because "I wouldn't approve if her children want to transition" and her children talk about death and darkness. i mourne the girl and woman that I knew. I miss my brother that I taught to read and codes would send me letters back and forth in different codes. Now he is a transhumanist that wants to upload his brain and says that he has no good memories of me and wants nothing to do with me. I mourne the boy I knew. I miss my friend, the one who told me that I would never lose him as a friend. I told him that never was cursed, but that I would do everything in my power to not lose him as a friend. The one who told me that I was "not banned in any way shape or form from commenting, nor ever would be". The one who said "Never stop commenting" The one who I told my life story too. The one that I shared all kinds of links with. Now he has banned me from ever talking to him again after I was asking questions of why he was suddenly sending me hateful emails one minute and nice friendly ones the next. Why he was suddenly acting like he didn't know me. And why he was suddenly acting against morals and things that he had said before. My friend who, even though I didn't see him in person, I laughed and cried with on numerous occasions. I mourn the friend I knew that would never have made a public spectacle, that would have always seen fighting for what is right goes above feelings. I love them all wholeheartedly and unabashedly but what I now find in their place I do not recognize. They are all still supposedly alive, yet, I mourn them.

I pray for a place where I can find people who are consistent.