I Am A Person, You Are Not

Just random thoughts i wanted to put down. there's not a lot of rhyme or reason in the order. On the 8th when I was out trapsying around the cows, I found a shaggy mane ink cap mushroom and I brought it home and watched it auto digest, I should have taken pictures it was neat. https://www.somersetswcd.org/woodlands-blog/shaggymanes.... https://phys.org/news/2023-06-technique-invisibility-cloaks.html... https://spectrum.ieee.org/nano-tattoo...... https://techxplore.com/news/2023-06-magnetic-soft-robots-fiber-based-unidirectional.html..... https://phys.org/news/2023-06-unveiling-invisible-breakthrough-spectroscopy-discoveries.html.... https://english.elpais.com/science-tech/2023-06-13/a-termination-event-sets-off-the-solar-peak-with-geomagnetic-storms-and-unique-aurora-borealis.html...Terminstion event doesn't sound good. made in 2014 https://m.imdb.com/title/tt3830858/ 2043 Thirty years after a plague goes through society creates a truce by deciding to never touch again.... https://12-monkeys.fandom.com/wiki/Cassandra_Complex... https://severance.wiki/severance-_the_lexington_letter_transcript.... https://youtu.be/fUglz4MjvFg... trauma is the point .... https://youtu.be/gUI1oKwUmSQ.... https://youtu.be/gUI1oKwUmSQ.... You know what is even scarier than the Severance system? The idea of being severanced without either the innie or the outie knowing, in a society that openly thinks that it isn't possible for anyone to do this, therefore they must be crazy. In 2020 there were some instances where I was able to realize that I was getting "used" I went through elaborate rituals to create memories that were involved with transferring memory into any part of myself that might be hidden from myself and trying to create as many cross networks in parts of my brain. I realized that there was this part of me that was a blank alter (that's the best way I can describe it,) I found that whatever they were accessing through hypnosis might have greater abilities or skills, but was not necessarily me, because I existed without knowing whatever happened then, and when I probed, since this was only a temporary shadow self of me accessed under hypnosis, it didn't have a need to dig into my memories. I don't know if this was part of the process, or if I just figured it out or what. So working off the idea of that it involves trauma, I dug into my earliest traumatic memories. One specifically, was no one's fault but my own stupidity as a young child, I snuck out and then couldn't get in and almost died from the weather and got frostbite. I started trying to set up a connection here in my mind, probe it for shadows and create a bridge to any parts of myself that I might have blocked. This might have extended outside of myself as I experimented with that.I keep going back and forth thinking that so much is just my imagination, but then I so many things that prove otherwise. So I wondered if this was actually me actively setting up an alter or connecting with one already made. So I set about imagining that my consciousness in the moment or quantum version of myself, was sending itself back in time to the earlier version of myself to comfort the young version of myself experiencing the trauma, pain and fear. I got the empathy pains thaf I get sometimes when I'm treating a patient (twice, I had people that seemed energy vampiric and recognized that I was an empath and tried to push their pain on me, those are stories for another time) When I was a child, the frostbite left my feet covered in blisters. So I was getting disconnected pains in my feet and sympathy blisters. Then I dreamed about a ritual with a firewalk. I did it and got more blisters and pain all over my feet, then reconnected with my younger consciousness and watched all but one of the blisters disappear in minutes. Then there were things that I was driven to do, that were rituals mundane seeming things like with the numbers in Severance, yet my other consciousness was explaining to me how that was the superficial and explained the meaning and symbolism behind each move. I was in like a semi trance, being sent different places talking to different people. But that was the surface, underlying the interactions and rituals were symbolism and this "imaginary" dialogue that I had set up creating this "illogical storyline" that continued along a timeline that made complete sense in a way that it continually built off of previous events, except that it shouldn't exist. And part of it existing at all hinged on my imagining that there was another part of myself that knew things that my conscious self didn't know. But that wasn't all, there was also what my ex husband and others were doing, and I was communicating with,I saw a number of people operating off something doing this, though most of the interactions were people would get direct phone calls. Their personality and demeanor would change and then they would either start following me or give me a message. Chad's mom was one of those, she would get her triggers over the phone. A few times, I watched her go from being normal or sweet, she would get a phone call either from a wrong number and they said strange synchronous things or she would get a call from something that was triggering to her, usually involving money for her. You could see her whole face and voice and posture change, then she would either start flipping out or saying and doing really strange things. Because I had labeled all those memories as "illogical" though, it made it all the easier for them to get me to block it out for a about a year. But a small part of that illogical storyline was involving rituals that I did using dream symbolism in order to bring memories over. So to elaborate for example, in Severance, Helly doesn't know the states or more importantly what state she lives in. The trauma that I had happened in another state, I realized that part of how they are able to keep the separation is because there isn't memories. I sensed that everything was unfamiliar in Oklahoma, there was the new that's lived in Oklahoma this whole time and the me that had stopped developing before Oklahoma. I went on what I likened to a sojourn of a vision quest for a while using the world as liminal space and every where that I went I had so many synchronicities that it was unreal. Like I said, it could have been my imagination, but I didn't know how to fight what I was thrown into, I didn't know if I had an alter or not, so I thought the best way to combat it would be befriending my own mind. So I imagined that I was taking my imaginary friend of myself through different places and connecting memory. When it got really weird was that in the middle of it I started having another part of my consciousness interrupt and take me to strange places I had never been before. Now a few years later, those places suddenly became important to events that happened after I was randomly sent there. It's subjective proof only to myself that it works both directions through time, but 90% of the time it's a weak spotty connection with the future, like only the places yet not the significance or events came through. Or my other working theory is that I was programmed to go to those places, then the programming played out in events later. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/article/wildfire-smoke-exposure-protection-tips.... Oklahoma gets a lot of wildfires, I've driven through some where I worried that the car would catch on fire from the sparks, and kept my eyes on the lines on the road as that was all I could see. granted these aren't forest fires, it's plains and crops burning, but often miles of it. But we don't get orange skies from it. When we did get orange skies, it was in 2020 and they clsimed that it was from the wildfires of scrub grassland in Australia they even had a name for the strange orange cloud on the horizon, but I can't seem to find that just these. https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2020/09/10/giants-athletics-wildfires-orange-skies-photos... that scene from San Francisco reminds me of an old sci fi film where everyone has to worry about skin cancer because the ozone is gone and outside looks exactly like that. https://www.fox13news.com/video/679150 ...In the dream that I had the other night, the 3 1/6 came back to me, and a future me tell me that they have 3 events planned similar to 1/6 that they want to use to get people to come out of the woodwork, they will be heavily monitored and staged attacks on themselves in order to press charges against any true believers that won't just go along. Then they will present themselves as so mis treated from the controversies that they caused with Budlight and Target[symbolism] (I know the irony me being a pariah because I get kicked out of mcmmm for causing a controversy, to me it's right to not do what you blame the enemy for without clear delineation, I'd say it all again, though I'd be more diplomatic) Everything points to the next being pride month, and the missing fertilizer. Shipments of things, and weapons and explosives go missing all the time, they try to cover it up usually, this OTOH was blatant, it's the build up before something so all the plebs will say "oh that's where the missing fertilizer went to," and there will be a nice cut and dry trail. FYI, it's easier to start wildfires without fertilizer than it would be to use it. The thing is that it's explosive AFTER it gets mixed with other stuff or, it has a fire burning on it for long enough to get it to explosive temperatures. It does not readily light, and will not burn for long on it's on. Large explosions create a blast that extinguishers wildsfires and bombs are actually used as a last resort to fight out of control fires. So no I don't think that the fertilizer and the wildfires are linked. https://www.wyomingnewsnow.tv/2023/05/24/30-tons-explosive-fertilizer-disappeared-train-after-departing-cheyenne/... It directly smells fishy, to the point where they arent even trying when they say all the evidence points to a leak, but all the seals were intact and we can't find a leak. Then the spokesmen that they have presented have very right wing, anti LGBTQIAPTZX stuff up on their online profiles. It also serves to get some on our side to not dig too much. I'm no stranger to people pretending to be on our side only to use it. My ex husband for example, I spent 12 years thinking that he thought like I did and held the same views, it was what got me to stay for so long and put up with so much. After my children were taken, he signed a permission for them to get vaccinated and he told me that he didn't really feel or think like I did, he just always agreed with me to make me think that he did. He also admitted that when he met me, I had been a job, but that shouldn't matter because he had fallen in love with me. He never would say who or what the job was through or the purpose, he thought that admitting that should have been enough for me to forgive that I got married and had children with someone who I don't really know who was purposefully put in my life by something that I don't know, and he spent the whole time lying to me about everything under the sun, but especially his allegiances and loyalty. I saw first hand that his loyalty to some unseen shadowy "him" and "them" trumped his loyalty to his family. In 2020 after I had got a death warning, I stopped it , obviously, but I was still incredulous as to whether it was real, when I got a similar thing for Chad. He started talking about loyalty, and I said that from what I had seen he wasn't loyal. He said that what was important was that he had remained loyal to them. I said "Apparently someone doesn't think that you're loyal" and showed him what they used to warn him. He had a look of blind terror in his eyes like I'd never seen. He got up rushing out the door saying "I DIDN'T BETRAY HIM, HE HAS TO KNOW THAT I'M LOYAL." drove off presumably to prove it. Sorry that flashback kinda went off topic slightly, but it just connected with something in me that made me realize from the way things went down, that the "he" and "they" might not have been on the same side. And I might know who the "he" was. Possibly the second threat was a kind of retaliation for the first.