I'm really sick, fluids and juices coming out every possible place gross! But I guess I'm never too sick to rant. I was wondering how the meeting went, I'm thinking of the one in this video: https://youtu.be/_574Rxxez2c ... I was imagining what the meeting was like on the setting up triggers for me. I mean do they even have meetings on it or what or is just a couple of sick people who thought it would be fun? I imagined them saying "no one actually gets hurt" you just need to say eriodically say some triggers that you set up like 1000%. What's it matter, I'm subhuman anyway if I let myself be a mind controlled slave directed by triggers. After all wouldn't I rather have a good slave master and appreciate and bow to his power? ...Then last night my subconscious put it in cartoonist perspective, more like a comic book. I woke up this morning from a dream of being tortured. The main torturer tells me that it won't do any good to scream because he's convinced everyone that I'm crazy and screaming just reinforces that. I know he's right. He turns to the other and says "We've got ourselves a true believer here! They're really fun because they always want to believe the best in people, you can get them over and over and keep convincing them that you've got their be st intentions at heart, once you have their loyalty they'll torture themselves trying to figure out .why" How stupid and sad is that I gotta figure out a way to just get over it. I really do not like being bitter, but I can't see past it being manipulation to set up trauma triggers. Just like whoever was on first was to set up other triggers.