The Jerry Springer Stuff

Spoiler it's a Mafia war between the Irish, the Aryan Brotherhood, with an under current of intelligence agencies dealing with pedophiles and blackmailers human trafficking, snuffs and drugs. I'm no stranger to men not turning out to be who I thought they were. When I was dating my first ex husband, he was so nice and sweet writing me poems, buying me flowers and gifts. Taking me on dates his views seemed to match up to mine and his mom showed me pictures of baby kittens that he rescued, he bought me a dog and took care of it until it got hit by a car and he cried so much. But I kept having strange bruises the I didn't know where they came from. I'd have strange urges to run from him that would come out of nowhere, I had started catching him in lies a lot but that were so benign and strange that I dismissed them. (pathologic lying testing my ability to catch his tells then changing them) I started feeling pregnant, yet I was still a virgin, but he was pushing for it. I was having strange lapses in memory, like one time I came over his house at 10 am, then suddenly I was waking up on the floor in the middle of putting soaking wet pants on and he was standing over me saying "hurry up, we're going to miss the movie" I said "Oh is it a matinee? Why are my pants wet and partway down?" "No silly it's 7 o'clock at night and you spilled your drink on your lap and started to take your pants off to dry them but I said there's no time we need to hurry up for the movie." "So why are my shoes off?" "You don't remember taking them off ?" "No I don't" that night after the movie that went great I came home and cried for hours in a hot bathtub, but I didn't know why I was crying, I chalked it up to school as school was always miserable socially with people picking on me or fighting. Once I figured that I was crying over school and ran with that crying over specific instances; instead of exploring the missing time. That was in August, the first week of school. By September we talking about eloping and havinga secret marriage and he asked me to set a date for when I would feel comfortable and that we would say secret vows. I told him a date a couple weeks out and in the meantime I started praying about it because I started to get cold feet and was asking God for a sign and decided on my period, the if it came when it was was due, then it would come and pass before the night when I was supposed to be married but if it was late and I was on my period then I was going to tell him that I still didn't feel right to not have an official marriage. My period was late so before the time I talked to him about what I had talked to God about and that I was putting it in God's hands. That day I had my period I came anyway he told him thinking that he would be understanding he wasn't and raped me then convinced me that I had already consented that it was on me. We fought back and forth and he apologized and begged for forgiveness and I took him back. Here's where it's sketchy because I have 3 different memories of the rape and where it occurs that my mind had tried to combine into one incident. I realized later that one fit into that missing day as I was wearing the same outfit, but no more context. The other two I can't untwine. My period only lasted two days and then stopped. It was mid October and I started feeling a baby moving in me, I thought surely that isn't right, you can't feel a baby moving after just a few weeks. I looked into it and found that it would have to be at least 4-5 months about 20 weeks and I was positive that at that time I was a virgin, and couldn't remember a anomaly of my wet pants in August I laughed at the idea of wouldn't that be the irony if I were to hold a virgin birth only to be raped before the birth, I laughed it off and reassured myself that I loved him and it wasn't really rape because I said yes then changed my mind and maybe he would have stopped if I had physically fought back more after he pinned me but I loved him and hadn't wanted to hit him. Later he would make me forget it more fully as I remember confiding in my friend that even though I was reluctant on our first time and he was pushy, he's always so loving, yet when he's on top I get terrified and I don't know why, and this strange part of me feels like he's raped me or will rape me. I dismissed the movement in my belly as gas, but it got harder to ignore and I could see it moving. Looking into pregnancy tests I found out that you need to vwait until the first missed period so I waited for it then it came very heavy and painful so I didn't test. Then I did get pregnant and had my son at the end of the following October a full year later. Later in my second marriage in late 2020 I would have another another similar 'anomoly' in my memory. I had had my youngest daughter months before and I was having my first period from it after the initial bleeding had stopped. This period was so heavy and painful that I was largely bedridden, when I've measured my bleeding on my normal periods I bleed more in one day for each of the first three days as most women bleed for their entire cycle so my total is 4-5 times as much. This one was exceptional though and I was weak and dizzy from loss of blood so Chad was having to help me to the bathroom, suddenly something raged in me, I suddenly had this unfounded deep hatred of him. All I can equate it to is that it either triggered a blocked memory or a past life memory of him forcing me to have an abortion. Something screamed in my head "murderer you killed my child!" (But consciously I thought I haven't been pregnant nor had an abortion this is crazy. He felt me stiffen and my eyes flash he pulled me close and told me aa story about three men breaking into a house and knocking out the husband and raping the wife. I was horrified was this confirmation and I'm torn between blocking out the memory? that's around the time I woke up with Chad passed out insidea hola in the wall and my life went u.pside-down and sideways in 11 diff demensions and I can't seem to put so many memories from 2020 into chronological order. back to 2006 January I asked my older sister to get me birth control because I found condoms with a pin stuck through them. Mark would talk so much about wanting me to get pregnant and I firmly told him that I was going to get on birth control until I was 18 then I got pregnant. He was so excited and strangely thought that it would make his mom happy, it didn't she exploded. Then before I told my parents yet he came to me saying that there was a girl (12 or 13) that was claiming that he raped her and her parents were pressing charges. I flipped out, but he brought forth all kinds of friends that vouched for him that the story was made up and he was with .them. When my parents found out they disowned me. My dad said "I have no daughters" as he had already disowned my sisters (later he would ask us all for forgiveness and I and my children remained close to him) I was rush married in three days and moved in and cut off from all my friends and family with no phone in a town of only his friends. Then the truth started coming out. He said "I own you and you owe me." Two weeks is about as far as the good lasted but in that time the illusions fell away. The dog that he bought me that he cried over it getting hit by a car? Well he actually killed it himself then mutilated the body, did I want to ?see The kittens he rescued that his mom had pictures of, well that was just part of the photo op, then they would tie their tails together and throw them over a power line , or they would bury them up to their heads and run over them with a lawn mower. See how high up they can still land on their feet etc. Well I had just read the book on FBI profiling and it had given me cold feet at my wedding but I dismissed it, I had even considered writing to the address in the back asking if it could be wrong. Then finding out about the animals cinched it. I found out that he would break into people's houses and sometimes watch them sleeping getting off on how vulnerable they were. Then he showed me his collection of snuff films and was particularly excited about the ones that showed black men getting brutalized and he told me that he was the head of a neo Nazi group. I got a particularly nasty beating with green sugar cane poles that left my legs bleeding (it was on the public street, people saw as I ran and tripped, cars drove off, people went in and locked their doors) because I said that I had black friends and family and had once had a crush on a black boy. He said that if he had known I was a monkey lover he wouldn't have married me and he needed to whip it out of me. I found out that when he told me that his ex lover was a masochist satanic witch, he was actually involved in rituals in the graveyard with the Mayor of the town (same town that my recent court cases are out of) in it also. He believed there were some prophecies about me and he was oozing to be a part of it. The next few weeks are a blur of revelations fighting abuse, realizing that the cops then were in on it and wouldn't bring me to a safe place or make a statement. Turning to all his friends and family and them siding with me. Not having a phone or any place or person to run to. My friends and family had given me some money for wedding presents he took and hid it all looking for it to get away, I found out that he was doing crystal meth and weed. Once he was sure that II realized that I wouldn't be able to run because everyone was in on it, he walked me around town pregnant, only one meal a day sunburning, every evening when he figured I was too tired to run, he would find very specific spots then with knives and threats sodomize me or other things. Then he would laugh at me and point out all the cameras where he had just made a blackmail video against me and my family. One in particular was hurtful because he placed us right below the bank cameras and makes it look like it's all me from the top angle. He said that he was going to make sure that my dad saw it I didn't know how he would make that happen but I believed him this was way to organized. Another time an old woman came out of her house seeing it yelling that we ought to be ashamed etc. I was crying and asked her for her and she said she was calling the cops, he grabbed me up and ran, I never heard sirens. Many years later, my dad told me about them busting aa blackmail ring that was doing these tactics of forced compromised images or videos, After I left Mark but before I had the baby I still wasn't talking to my dad. Mark and his friends got swatted and Mark cut a deal and got rehab. I think that things since were retaliatory. After I got away, First he started making out with a 12; year old at the public pool "to make me jealous" no more confirmation ithat needed to stay the fuck away from him. he would walk around town feeling like a baller I guess while flocks of 12-14 year old girls would publicly kiss and rub on him (obviously other girls hadnt had to be threatened and whipped to become part of his blackmail ring) he started dating a girl a year or two younger with almost the same name as me Ginny/Jenny who grew up next door to me and was already pregnant with twins, he abused her and made her miscarry. (we became and remain friends as soon as she left him she turned to me for help ) I found some amazing women that took me in and adopted me still to this day my second moms. I had my son, somehow he found out that I was in labor and showed up at the hospital and started fighting and threatening me and he was escorted out. He and his family would come by and call threatening I tried to file restraining orders and the court workers tore it up saying that I hadn't done proper procedures etc. I got a divorce and he's never done the steps that he's needed to for visitation, though at times I let him see him, One of those times was when he said that my son would have half siblings, so I met her and them. She moved to Texas after he tried to kill her, she's cordial to me but doesn't want to talk. For a while when they knew it was just my son and I going to college Mark and his family stalked me sometimes threatening me. I had pictures of all of them that I took the daycare, neighbors and even my professors, they all said that they had came by with pictures of me asking about me. One day they showed up at my door, though only one person from the area be my address. Then I didn't hear from him for a few years so I looked him up: I can't find it at the moment, but I found his mugshot and arrest records Mark Earnest (Earnest is his rage masochist alter ego) Brandon Palmerton. He was arrested for child abuse. Apparently he was dating this woman Kasey and she already had children the little boy broke his speaker so he beat him with the buckle end of belt. The school didn't believe his story of how it happened and he refused to budge so they pulled in his sister (I met her later, sweetest angel of a little girl if ever there was) she admitted that it was Mark, but they said that he was going to kill them if they told because he was waiting outside the school with a shotgun. They checked, there was Mark outside the playground fence with what looked like a shotgun but was actually a bee bee gun. He got 2 years in prison with time served The children were never removed from the home and when he got out they got married and had more children together. He's very proud of the fact that he joined the Aryan Brotherhood in prison. Often if Mark got me to bleed, he'd get blood lust, (yes it's real, I've seen some surgeons overcome with it) and he would do rituals with it. One time he chased me down the street then the woods with a shotgun shooting with the neighbors (friends of his) laughing and his uncle making catcalls about controlling his woman, the night before I left completely. I hid all night in the woods periodically hearing him yelling for me and shooting. Then when I knew he'd be sleeping good and solid, I crept back, I didn't want to chance the 10 mile walk to the town I grew up pregnant and no food and water. He had gotten smashed drunk and threw aa party after keeping me out in the woods. There was throw up and trash everywhere and he was passed out in his underwear with a new tattoo. I grabbed my address book and what money I could find and ran, two blocks down the street still running, I heard a commotion and he's running after me in his underwear, I run harder and II remember what happened in August When I came in at 10 am he was sleeping I found out he had women's scratch marks all down his back and drugs around his room I turn to run and he locks me in. We fought, I told him that it was over and got away again and ran down the street, and he caught up to me and kocked me out, I came to being dragged back to his house by my hair, it's immensely painful but I'm too groggy to resist. Once inside he rubbed sparkles on me, either x or ketamine (I didn't know that there were drugs that absorbed through the skin then) and raped me a number of times with me going in and out of consciousness. back to the last time I ran. I prayed that he would go back to get dressed so I could make it do the business district as he was much more leery what he did in daylight there. He did, I made it to family video and begged for the phone I went down my address book calling everyone all no answer. I started kicking myself when it started to dawn on me that these films were being marketed through family video, of all places, how stupid of me. I stopped making calls and took off running again and ran right into an old friend of mine that used to hire me to help with his horses. I said 'can you take me to your farm now?!' 'sure hop in' I was saved as I saw Mark walking fast up the street looking for me. That family video is gone now, you'll never guess what's in it's place. A travel agency, cause you know in a town of about 1500 people in the boonies they have such a need for a travel agency. A few years later a movie called either the evil within or the devil within was filmed in the town and residents were extras. It's of no importance, but I also found out that Mark was barely literate and his mom had copied the poems out of books, and most of the gifts he'd given me - all of the jewelry had been stolen. Anything of value or family heirlooms that I had going into the marriage I never saw again. Watch the news, with things being so hot over the July 4 movie, there will be a slew of unexplained or unexpected child deaths, many accidents, or drowning rather than have them talk. We need to find the patterns before there's more victims.